I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
