My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
