your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sober January is a disaster.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
