Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
