Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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