Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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