I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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