I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
