At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
