so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
