I feel great
I just peed on a car
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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