Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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