i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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