Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
