would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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