So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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