Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
