i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
