What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
