We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize