Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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