I heard we made out
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
