Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
