This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
