3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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