I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
