Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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