fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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