You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
