if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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