Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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