I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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