Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I understand Curling. That high.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
