I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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