I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She said her name was "party"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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