guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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