You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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