help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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