Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
