she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize