i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
