There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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