I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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