Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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