Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
