As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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