girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
