The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
