I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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