I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
