She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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