i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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