Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
