she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
