Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
