Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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