i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
