Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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