Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
